The Francis Asbury Society

FACE TO FACE: Intimate Moments with God 12/15

Posted on | December 15, 2015 | Comments Off on FACE TO FACE: Intimate Moments with God 12/15

Scripture reading: II Corinthians 5:14–21

Product Malfunction

“Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain.” (Genesis 4:1)

 

(Adam and Eve were created without any flaws or defects. But when sin entered the world, they began to function in ways the Creator never intended. Imagine what a “factory recall” letter from heaven might look like.)

 

Trinity Manufacturing

Quality Control Celestial City 77777

KNEE-Mail: Jeremiah@33.3

 

RE: Urgent Product Recall

 

Dear Valued Customer:

Our records indicate that you are in possession of one of our units (Human Body, Lot No. GEN1.26). In accordance with Code PHIL4.19 (see Operations Manual) this notice is sent to advise you of a voluntary recall for all these units (both Male and Female models). Regardless of your unit’s make or year and in spite of any “improvements” that you may have made, these products are defective and prone to malfunction in ways that cannot always be foreseen. Our Research & Development Department has confirmed that unless these units are repaired, they will eventually self-destruct! This letter is sent to inform you of the grave danger you currently face.

Please be informed that the origin of this defect occurred after assembly. Research has verified that a competing firm infected the very first two units with a vicious virus that caused all software functions in those original units to behave in ways for which they were not designed. This virus was highly contagious and almost immediately spread to all succeeding units. This means that all units (including yours) are contaminated.

Because this virus is so difficult to detect, many may conclude they are an exception and need not respond to this voluntary recall. This would be a grave mistake. Our Chief Designer himself is deeply concerned and invites you to return your unit as soon as possible so repairs can be made and your unit can function as it was originally designed. While Trinity Manufacturing is not to blame for the presence of this virus or its tragic consequences, we stand ready to take full responsibility for all repairs. We promise to absorb all costs involved in restoring your unit to its original condition. Remember our work has a eternal guarantee.

Should you desire confirmation that your unit has the virus, turn to NT-4GOS- PELS in your Operations Manual. Here you will see the specs on our Prototype (ADAM-II) and discover what our units are designed to both be and do. By com- paring your unit with the ADAM-II, you will easily discern the systemic malfunction in your own unit.

Unless you respond quickly, you may discover it is too late. In some units the virus has operated for so long and so deeply that not even our best technicians can repair them. These units are destroyed.

This recall is voluntary so please do not disregard this notice. Call one of our technicians immediately for guidance in dealing with your unit’s particular issues. For further help, consult the index of your Operations Manual (see Section JOHN-1.12 for initial instructions).

We at Trinity Manufacturing deeply value your trust. In fact, no one who has trusted in us has ever been disappointed! Our CEO’s own son stands behind all our commitments to you as a valued customer. If you have any further questions concerning this recall, please call us directly, toll free, night or day, at 1–800-MATT-21.22.

Holy Spirit, CEO Trinity Manufacturing

 

Free Salvation for all men and full salvation from all sin.

—founding motto of Asbury University

 

point to ponder The first Adam really messed things up. The Second Adam really set things right.
prayer focus For victory over sin in your life

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